We are doing a very eye-opening project in theatre class right now that has really made me stop and think. We are in small groups and our mission is to spread awareness about an issue we believe teens face in today's society. Some of those include, Body image, Suicidal feelings, Anxiety, Teen pregnancy, Substance abuse and finally my group's, Abusive Relationships.
This project has sparked amazing dialogue in my class. I've learned so much about my peers and friends. We have created a safe environment in which we can discuss these issues maturely. Our goal with these projects is to not only bring awareness to these topics but to "show not tell." What we mean by that is it's one thing to have someone tell you a statistic, but it's another to watch a character experience a situation in front of your eyes. We not only wish to share this important information, but we want to make it believable and real to our audience.
My group is focusing on high school abusive relationships. I know what you're thinking, "Abuse as in hitting someone?". Well not exactly. We realized that most of the time society looks at domestic violence as men abusing women. But there are men who are being abused by women both emotionally and sometimes physically. We wanted to focus on a relationship between two high schoolers where the girl is emotionally abusive.
In High School its not uncommon to walk through the halls and see young love. Love is great, but sometimes it can get out of hand for young people. Often times I see boys get completely controlled by their girlfriends. Guys jokingly call it being "whipped" but it can quickly turn more serious than that. My group focused on a boy who is having his life manipulated and controlled by his girlfriend. He believes he loves her but he's realizing he is unhappy with the way she's treating him.
Boys - Your girlfriends should not be telling you what you can and cannot do. They don't have the right to tell you who you can and can't hang out with. If she starts telling you she doesn't want you spending time with other people without her, don't just walk away… RUN! She is NOT for you! Teen love should be about sharing experiences together, and being in love - but also giving each other a healthy amount of space.
Here is out script and I hope that this can have the power to help someone or provide as inspiration.
Peace and blessings,
Holly
Tyler - Wait what? Why?
Ashley - Because I'm your girlfriend and I said so.
Tyler - Why does that even bother you?
Ashley - God you're so stupid! Why are you even asking me why it bothers me? Isn't it obvious?
Tyler - Okay sorry.
(Lilly enters. Notices Tyler and Ashley and approaches, very friendly.)
Lilly - Hey guys! What's up?
Tyler - Hey! Nothing much you?
Ashley - We were just leaving.
Lilly - Okay bye.
(Lilly waves goodbye and exits. Tyler looks back at Lilly and smiles as she leaves. Ashley snaps to get his attention.)
Ashley - Thats exactly what I'm talking about.
Tyler - Huh?
Ashley - I saw the way you were looking at her! And you wonder why it bothers me that you hang out with her when I'm not around.
(Ashley checks the time on her phone and notices she's running late)
Ashley - Okay. I gotta go to cheer practice now. *Ashley kisses his cheek and cheerfully says..*
Text me later?
Tyler - yea… sure. Have fun.
(Project the text message between Tyler and Lilly about going to lunch. New setting: Booth at a restaurant. Lilly is already there waiting. Tyler sits down.)
Lilly - Hey look who it is? I haven't seen you in ages. Where have you been?
Tyler- Oh you know.. around…
Lilly - So I was driving on my way here and I heard the FUNNIEST song. It's called #selfie. It's honestly the most ridiculous song. Have you heard it?
Tyler - *laughs* yeah Ashley sings it all the time… its so annoying.
Lilly - *laughs* Why?
Tyler - Believe me… if you heard her you'd know why.
Lilly - (laughs) Well since I haven't seen you in FOREVER we might as well take a picture for my Instagram.
Tyler - Funny face?
Lilly - Funny face. Duh. Always.
(Lilly and Tyler take a goofy selfie and Lilly posts it on Instagram. Suddenly there are screams coming from offstage.)
Ashley - (from offstage) OH! MY! GOD!
(Lilly and Tyler freeze in a tableau.)
Ashley - (Now onstage is looking at her phone and seeing the picture of Lilly and Tyler on Instagram.) Really? Lilly is such a HOE! She needs to back off! Tyler is MINE, not hers! I'm not going to let anyone steal Tyler from me. I remember what it feels like having someone taken stolen from me. I won't let that happen to me again. I won't be the victim. I trust Tyler, I really do, but I don't trust her. He and Lilly used to spend a lot of time together, and now that time with him belongs to me. Tyler chose me, not her. So now I should be the one who spends the most time with him. That's the way it works right?
(Ashley turns and exits. Tyler and Lilly unfreeze.)
Lilly - Oh guess what? I can't believe I haven't told you yet!
Tyler - What?!
Lilly - I GOT THE LEAD IN THE MUSICAL!
Tyler - Really?!?! That's awesome!
Lilly - yeah! I found out last week but I haven't been seeing you as much lately.
Tyler- Wow… You've known for a whole week?
Lilly - yeah… I've tried to find you, plenty of times, but it seems I can never get a hold of yah' these days.
Tyler - (feeling guilty now. The smile vanishing from his face.) I know.
Lilly - What's wrong?
Tyler - Well there was a reason I asked you to meet me here for lunch...
Lilly - Yeah? Everything okay?
(Lilly freezes and Tyler stands up and moves to center.)
Tyler - I cannot believe I am actually going through with this. She's my best friend, she's going to be crushed when I tell her. Is this even worth breaking up the best friendship I've ever had? No it is, I love Ashley…. at least I think I do. No, I do. And this is what she wants. Ugh but Lilly though… she's been there for me since middle school. How can I turn my back on her now? How am I supposed to tell my best friend that we can't hang out anymore? I hope she understands it's not my choice to do this. Deep breaths. I have to do this. (Tyler starts walking back to his seat in the booth) I have to do this. I have to do this. I have to do this. (reaches the table and sits) Here goes nothing.
(Lilly unfreezes and is still staring at tyler.)
Tyler - Ashley doesn't want me hanging out with you anymore! (Tyler lays his head on the table. There’s an awkward pause.)
Lilly- (chuckles a little in disbelief.) what? That's funny haha what is it really?
Tyler - No really…. She says that its the only way that our relationship can survive at this point. I can't hang out with any girls…
Lilly - Even me?
Tyler - especially you…
Lilly - ESPECIALLY Me? Why am I different from any of your other friends?
Tyler - Ashley is convinced there is something going on between us.
Lilly - What?!? (Reacts like thats the most absurd thing that anyone has ever said!) US?!?! No…… Have you told her its not like that?
Tyler - Yeah just about a thousand times. But she still doesn't believe me.
Lilly - Well that's crazy. We have been best friends since middle school. Ever since I moved down the street from you we've been inseparable. Doesn't she think that if there was something between us it would have happened by now?
Tyler - Exactly! That's what I tell her all the time. She just ends up getting upset and I don't feel like fighting with her. So I usually drop it.
Lilly - Well she obviously has major trust issues Tyler. Have you realized you don't have to listen to everything she says?
Tyler - But I want to make her happy.
Lilly - Well it sounds like she's not making you happy… Sorry to tell you Tyler - but you don't look like yourself and you're certainly not acting like yourself.
Tyler - Oh come on.. I’m still the same old Tyler.
Lilly -- No you're not… The old Tyler would have been the first to know I got the lead in the musical, the old tyler would have come to the surprise party we threw for Kim to cheer her up when her Hamster died - (Tyler cuts her off.)
Tyler - I apologized for that already, Ashley needed me to help her study for Chemistry.
Lilly - It doesn't always have to be about Ashley. You are allowed to say no to her. You are allowed to put your own happiness before hers. We are only in high school, you two aren't married to each other.
Tyler - Well yeah I know but… (trails off..)
Lilly – This is what I don’t understand… why doesn’t Tyler see how miserable he really is? If he could only see what I see… Tyler and I have been like brother and sister since middle school, and I always knew there would be a time where he would have a romantic relationship… but I didn’t think he would let it run his life. Suddenly this guy who once had a balance in his life is now being controlled by a girl, he believes is his first love. But this isn’t real love, Ashley’s controlling, she hasn’t even made an effort to get to know any of his friends. Suddenly he started spending all his time with her, neglecting the people who have been there for him throughout his life. I have to tell him, maybe I can make him see what I see.
(Lilly goes back to the table suddenly Tyler unfreezes)
Lilly- Okay I have to be honest, I think that Ashley is a bit controlling… Okay not a bit more like a lot.
Tyler- What do you mean?
Lilly- Oh come on don’t you think it’s a little odd that she doesn’t want you hanging out with girls who are just friends? And I’ve noticed you don’t hang out with Eric or Drew anymore either.
Tyler- Oh come on I still hang out with the guys.
Lilly- Really you do? Tell me, when was the last time you hung out with them?
Tyler- You know that time we went to that place… (Tyler pauses and thinks, then remembers when the last time was.) It was at your birthday party!
Lilly - Tyler that was two months ago…
Tyler - Wow. It has been two months?
Lilly - Yes… We miss you. (pauses) Can you tell me something… and be honest… you can always be honest with me. Does Ashley make you happy?
Tyler - Of course (tyler answers immediately.)
Lilly - Ty…
Tyler - No… To be honest it started out great but now it’s a lot different from what I thought it be like.
Lilly - What do you mean?
Tyler - Well…. in the beginning it felt great to be needed by her. But suddenly she became my whole world. She makes me feel guilty doing anything without her. I’m not even supposed to watch movies without her. She thinks she has this remote that she can pause my life when shes not there. Its like she expects me to wait for her while she does other things, like cheering, but I’m not allowed a life of my own. It sucks.
Lilly - Tyler I know this sounds weird, because we don’t hear about it a lot, but men can be abused by women. Sometimes it’s not physical but emotional. We often just label domestic violence as women being battered and bruised by the men. But my mom recently told me that more than 40% of the abuse comes from the women. I didn’t believe her at first but then I thought about it and it started to make sense.
Tyler - Ashley doesn’t hit me if that’s what you’re trying to say.
Lilly - Abuse doesn’t have to be physical. By telling you what you can and can’t do, and making you feel guilty for having a life, and having friends she’s abusing you emotionally.
(At this point Ashley storms in the restaurant and marches up to the table where Lilly and Tyler are sitting. She is livid.)
Ashley - What are you doing here Tyler?
Tyler - Woah Ashley calm down!
Ashley - Do NOT tell me to calm down! What’s going on here?!
Tyler - I’m having lunch with my friend.
Ashley - I told you that I don’t want you around other girls! Why would you do that?! Wow Tyler.
Tyler - You were at cheer practice what do you expect me to do? Wait in my car outside the gym for two hours?
Ashley - That would have been better than cheating on me!
Tyler - Oh my god! I am NOT cheating on you! You’re crazy!
Ashley - Oh so I’m crazy?
Tyler - YES! ALRIGHT!?! (Tyler explodes.) I am out to lunch with my friend! I am sick of you trying to control me! I can do what I want. I’ve tried to make you happy but you’re just impossible to please! I’m done with this! If I want to go out to lunch without you I can! It’s a free country!
Ashley - Well I guess we’re done then. If that’s how you feel.
Tyler - I guess so.
(Ashley runs offstage in tears/anger. Tyler sits back down and puts his head in his hands.)
Lilly - I am so sorry.
Tyler - It’s fine. I guess I just snapped. You opened my eyes to reality. I was trying to deny it, but you made me see it for myself.
(Lilly pats his back trying to comfort him.)
Tyler - I hope I don’t regret this tomorrow…
Lilly - Hey you’re better without her. Really. You can do much better. You will find someone who likes hanging with you and your friends, someone who lets you make your own choices. Someone who appreciates you and understands all aspects of your life. Someone who loves you but gives you your space.
Tyler - Well I can tell you one thing… I am NOT going to miss texting her 24/7. (Tyler kinda laughs.)
Lilly - Betcha feel a whole lot more free now don’t you?
Tyler - You have no idea.
(Lights out.)
THE END
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